Beer Haiku Friday and Awards That Actually Matter

Today’s beer haiku will outrage the purists but I like it. It is called “Because I Can“:

A bucket of wings
And some expensive cheap beer
Just because I can

Over at the Malthouse blog, my latest post discusses bar service, Evelyn Waugh’s seven requirements of a good inn-keeper, assesses Malthouse’s Colin Mallon against those seven criteria, looks at the Capital Awards and highlights three coming events. In a unsubtle dig at the Oscars, it is called “Awards That Actually Matter“:

Many would have expected Malthouse to also do well in the ‘best beer list’ category – except there wasn’t one. There was a ‘best wine list’ and ‘best drinks list’ but beer was a glaring omission. Fortunately, the flame-haired perpetrator has been quickly identified and given a stern talking to over a Tuatara Ardennes. Hopefully, it will be a proper category next year.

Glass Tips – Those determined tipplers at Beer Haiku Daily and the multi-award nomination folks at Malthouse

Beer Haiku Friday and The Beer of Revenge

Today’s Beer Haiku Friday proves that President Obama has a hard side. Obama loses his bet with the Canadian leader over the Ice Hockey so he has to buy a pack of beer. Look which beer he picks in “The President Pays Up“:

The president pays
Up on his Olympic bet.
A case of Molson

Brutal!

The latest Malthouse blog looks at beer legends, Louis Pasteur, his love of yeast and hatred of Prussians, Croucher Cherry Bock and some big up-coming events. It is called “The Beer of Revenge“:

“Pasteur is one of the greatest names in science, but this doesn’t mean he was necessarily a very nice person. What particularly got Pasteur hot under the collar was Prussia and all things German… His abhorrence of all things Prussian took two visible forms. First, he insisted that every paper he published would contain the statement “Hatred towards Prussia! Revenge! Revenge!” which must have proved difficult for peer reviewers, but had little real impact. But the second form changed beer as we know it.”

Glass Tips – Those excellent fellows at Beer Haiku Daily and Malthouse

Beer Haiku Friday and Barrels of Beer

Today’s much-anticipated Beer Haiku Friday describes a beer drinkers paradise. It is called “Variety“:

Dreaming of a place
Where they serve an endless stream
Of various beers

Speaking of beer drinkers paradises*, the latest Malthouse blog looks at the development of barrel-aged beers, talks to three New Zealand brewers who are doing it and profiles the new Moa Barrel Reserve range. The blog is called “Barrels of Beer“:

Epic Journey, two 20-litre barrels of Epic Armageddon which spent six weeks on the Interisland Ferry, were a big hit at Beervana 2009. Their Impish Brewer Luke Nicholas predicts we will see a lot more barrels in use at Beervana 2010. He is a bit of a convert to barrel-aging saying it was “fun and really changed the beer in a way I didn’t expect. It was interesting but also a bit scary and creepy leaving it to the wood. You don’t have that control and there are a lot of unknowns.”

* See what I did there?

Glass Tips – Beer Haiku Daily and the Malthouse blog

Beer Haiku Friday, a New Decade of Quality Beer and The Great Debate: Mild versus Wild

It’s summer – which means rain in Wellington and lightning strikes in Northland, Auckland, Southland, Otago and Dunedin. Here is a beer haiku for all those who have lost power – or are about to – “Power Outage“:

With the power out
I grab a beer from the fridge
And light a candle

Blogging at the Malthouse site has well and truly resumed with two new posts up already. The first covers my top ten Kiwi beer of 2009 and makes three predictions about the future of beer. It is titled “To a Decade of Quality Beer“:

Having looked back longingly at 2009, it is time to look forward eagerly to 2010 and make some bold prediction for the rest of summer. Gazing into my crystal ball (well, actually it is a limited-edition Malthouse glass proposing ‘Cheers For 2010’ filled with Three Boys Golden Ale but the effect is quite similar), I foresee new levels of popularity for cider, wheat beers and pales ales (particularly those in the American style).

Next, a summary of the big debate in world beer, have extreme beers had their day, have Tactical Nuclear Penguins been spotted in New Zealand, Hallertau beers and Burns Nicht this Monday. With apologies to Bear Grylls, the post is titled “Mild vs Wild“:

Sometimes you really want a beer that makes you stop and simply go ‘wow’ – you want a real eye opener, a conversation piece, a beer that you will always remember even though you only ever had a single glass. Lagunitas’ marvellously bouncy Hop Stoopid had this effect on my friend Dean late last year. Other times, however, there is a need for a beer that has character and flavour but which accompanies rather than dominates the conversation – a beer which can facilitate a long chat solving the world’s problems or last through a big sporting event.

Glass Tips – Beer Haiku Daily and Malthouse blog

Beer Haiku Friday and Beer with Sax Appeal

For many, it is the last day of work for the year. This Haiku – Stolen Happy Hour – may sum up how some of you are feeling:

The meeting drags on
The boss steals more and more time
I could be drinking

In the last Malthouse blog of the year, we meet Aussie musician Adam Page and learn of his love for craft beers and seamlessly mixing classic Christmas carols with Rage Against the Machine. It is called “Beer with Sax Appeal“:

Surrounded by a miasma of hop fumes and his trademark bushy beard (which he is going to grow out because “bigger beards are just cooler”), Adam lists his Kiwi beers of choice. He loves Tuatara, Three Boys IPA (“oh hello, it’s nice! Tuatara IPA sales go up when I’m in town”), Renaissance IIPA (“far out, it’s a classic”), Three Boys Oyster Stout (though he takes it personally that the seasons have changed which deprives him of this beer during his current visit) and Epic Armageddon (“unbelievable – like Luke backed up a cement truck full of hops and tipped them into my mouth”).

Glass Tips – Malthouse and Beer Haiku Daily

Beer Haiku Friday and A Long Hard Dispassionate Look At the Craft Beer Scene

Today’s Beer Haiku is called “A Frickin Miracle” and sums up the Friday mindset for many nicely:

He left for the bar
At exactly 5 o’clock
Against all the odds

In the latest Malthouse blog, I debate revolution versus evolution, quote Mao, Lloyd George and Michael Jackson, mix metaphors, present a thought-provoking piece from a Kiwi working in a US craft brewery and identify one of my beer finds of the year. It is titled simply “A Long Hard Dispassionate Look at the Craft Beer Scene

the same debate rages today around lifting beer appreciation. Should elevating a drinker from Tui quaffer to Tuatara connoisseur take a single big sip or a thousand little tastes? The simple fact is that few Heineken fans or Steinlager followers or Radler lovers are going to be instantly converted to a bottle-conditioned American Pale Ale, a wild-fermented sour raspberry beer or a 32% double barrelled imperial stout which has spent three weeks at -20 degrees to help increase its alcoholic strength. * These drinkers need be encouraged and supported to work up to better beers step by step.

Glass Tip – Those wonderful chaps at Beer Haiku Daily and the fine folks at the Malthouse site

Beer Haiku Friday and Springing into a Summer of Mayhem

Today’s highly anticipated Beer Haiku is a simple yet touching ode to the wonders of brewing. It is called “Together“:

Put them together
Oh the wonders they contain
Malt yeast hops water

From the Malthouse blog, this post looks at the weather, a summer beer festival, a Rennaissance tasting, the temporary reappearance of one of my favourite beers of all time, new beers from the Yeastie Boys and 8 Wired plus the return of Mayhem and my beer nemesis is back in town. It is titled “Spring into a Summer of Mayhem“:

It is officially Day Two of summer in Wellington and is fair to say that the weather so far has been consistent. Unfortunately, it has been consistently horrible with plenty of rain, strong winds and low temperatures. Anyone would think there was a cricket test scheduled for tomorrow or something. Even some of my green-tinged acquaintances have indicated that a little global warming wouldn’t go amiss at the moment while some of my less charitable friends have accused Al Gore of stealing summer.

Glass Tips – Those hearty froth blowers at Beer Haiku Daily and Malthouse blog

Beer Haiku Friday followed by Blog, Tweet, Repeat

In honour of Veterans Day, Beer Haiku Daily posted “Gratitude“:

Many raised glasses
Greeted the young veterans
Entering the bar

There is something quite post-modern about blogging and tweeting about blogging and tweeting. This week’s Malthouse blog covers the beer industry using social media, how I personally determine when technology has gone mainstream, an exclusive guest commentary from British writer Melissa Cole, scientific proof most messages on Twitter are pointless, Ashton Kutcher (also on Twitter and pointless) and the debut of @malthousewizard and his free beer. It is all in “Blog, Tweet, Repeat“:

British beer writer Melissa Cole is the author of the popular and entertaining blog ‘Taking the beard out of beer’. She is a Member of the British Guild of Beer Writers and has been described as “the thinking man’s drinking crumpet”. *

* Well, she has now.

Glass Tips – Our patriotic chums at Beer Haiku Daily and that Handsome Scotsman at Malthouse

Rugby and racing – Beer and brand disloyalty

Last week’s Malthouse blog covered burgers, brocolli, the Lucky brewery debacle, the three greatest Canadians of all time, “Spiderman” Emerson and Chimay White. It was called “A spirited defence of brand loyalty“:

We would tend to portray the person who eats only corporate burgers and fries as unsophisticated, a little odd and probably quite large. However, the person who drinks nothing but – say – Heineken is seen as a loyal and informed drinker. I simply cannot express the absurdity of this notion any better than noted beer writer and my third favourite Canadian Stephen Beaumont…

In “Rugby, racing and beer“, I take at looking at the baffling appeal of the Melbourne Cup, the cultural theft of Phar Lap, the attempted shooting of Phar Lap, the alledged similarities between American lager and horse by-products, West Coast humour at the expense of DB and Monteith’s Summer Ale:

At 5pm today, millions of otherwise normal and usually horse-racing agnostic Australians and New Zealanders will stop what they are doing, turn on the television, put a silly hat on their head, throw buckets of cash at the TAB and cheer wildly for a large four-legged animal who, yesterday, they had never heard of.

Glass Tip – Malthouse Blog

Beer Haiku Monday and the People’s Blog Part Deux

While the seasons are wrong for this hemisphere, the poem still resonates. It is called “Winterizing“:

Taking the sails down
could go quicker without beer
but what fun is that

Over at Malthouse blog, the popular People’s blog returns with two more guest columnists and some considered reflections on bloggers and blogging. It is titled “The People’s Blog Part Deux“:

Ten years later, even hardened net geeks are giving up on trying to figure out how many blogs there really are. The answer is well over 100 million, almost certainly a lot, lot more. Blogging is not just for pyjama-clad Generation Xer’s who live in their parents basement anymore (though they are certainly still well represented on-line.) Now, rock stars blog. Beer writers blog. Businesses blog. Scientists blog. Even politicians blog.

Glass Tips – Beer Haiku Daily and Malthouse Blog