Beer Haiku Friday and More about Mayhem

This week’s Haiku is designed to encourage people to enter a Beer Haiku contest but it is actually a great little poem in its own right. It is called “Flying Dog Haiku Contest“:

Why do beer lovers
Gravitate to short poems?
There’s more time for beer.

Glass Tip – The always reliable chaps at Beer Haiku Daily

Blogging has resumed in earnest over at the Malthouse site with the latest offering called “On my command, unleash Mayhem“:

It is more balanced than last years’ offering when Luke declared that Mayhem would “wilfully maim and cripple the palates of the most extreme hop head” but, make no mistake, this is still a tremendously hoppy drop.

Glass Tip – Malthouse proprietor Colin the Handsome (self-proclaimed) and Softly-Spoken (media labelled) Scotsman

Beer Haiku Friday and Saving the World with Beer

Today’s haiku is from Captain Hops and makes a cogent plea for sensible economic policies towards a better world. It is called “Fair is Fair“:

Beer costs much more than
it did just a year ago.
I need a bailout.

Glass Tip: Beer Haiku Daily

Over at the Malthouse blog, the latest entry looks at creationism, Al Gore, environmental doom, recycling and Fair Maiden Pale Ale. It is titled “Saving the World with Beer“:

Predictions of the world’s imminent demise began about a week after the world was created. The exact date of creation was either millions and millions of years ago or 4004BC, probably around noon, depending on who you believe. Despite the fact that the planet has patently not been destroyed even once, end-of-the-world theories have been consistently popular.

Beer in the New Yorker

One of the best beer articles I’ve read in a while appeared in the most unlikely source – The New Yorker.

A better brew: the rise of extreme beer” by Burkhard Bilger covers drunken elephants and the foundation of Dogfish Head brewery – and that’s just page one.

Sam Calagione was used to odd suggestions from customers. On Monday mornings, his brewery’s answering machine is sometimes full of rambling meditations from fans, in the grips of beery enlightenment at their local bar. But Gasparine’s idea was different. It spoke to Calagione’s own contradictory ambitions for Dogfish: to make beers so potent and unique that they couldn’t be judged by ordinary standards, and to win for them the prestige and premium prices usually reserved for fine wine. And so, a year later, Calagione sent Gasparine back to Paraguay with an order for forty-four hundred board feet of palo santo. “I told him to get a shitload,” he remembers. “We were going to build the biggest wooden barrel since the days of Prohibition.”

Glass Tip – Barrie Osborne, producer of Lord of the Rings and the most famous person to do a Wild about Wellington boutique beer tour

Beer Humour – 10 Beers to drink during a Zombie attack

Today my brother sent me a hilarious article. I only wish I had thought to write it first. It could only be cooler if it was about beer, pirates and Chuck Norris. It is by Dick Logan and is called “Top 10 Beers To Drink During A Zombie Attack.”

Let’s face it, zombie attacks are not very fun. They are even worse if the undead come knocking at your door and you find yourself stuck with a lousy beer. In order to prevent this unfortunate occurrence from happening, we’ve come up with a list of the top ten beers to drink during a zombie attack. So delicious, they’re to un-die for.

Glass Tip – My brother

Beerly Blogging: Scottish beers and Booky

From the Malthouse blog, a post which talks about Saint Patrick, Colin the Handsome Scotsman and, eventually, two beers from Belhaven. It is called “Och aye the noo

After a introduction so long it would make Jeremy Clarkson blush, the next post profiles New Zealand’s most sessionable ale. This piece is modestly titled “the true power of Bookbinder“.

2008 Beer Awards, Imps and Trappists

From the Wellingtonian, my now traditional end-of-year beer and bar awards:

I have continued my fledgling tradition of putting together an assessment of the best New Zealand beers for 2008 and some beer-related awards for venues around Wellington. These are, of course, simply the opinions of one beer writer but, rest assured gentle readers, they are based on extensive and intensive research.

From the Malthouse blog, a long look at Epic Pale Ale and its impish creator:

His brewing style is ashamedly hop-fixated. Luke has made a decision to use all imported hops for his beers as they give him the flavour and power he is looking for. While this approach can be controversial with his peers, the resulting beers are highly regarded. Epic Pale Ale was crowned Supreme Champion Beer of New Zealand just weeks after it launched. Metro called it the “Best Beer in Auckland” (by which they mean New Zealand) and the Listener also had it as the best beer of 2007 though their sole source for that assessment was me.

Also from the Malthouse blog, an entry on our old friends at Chimay:

Extensive research has unveiled exactly one joke about the monks at Chimay. Actually, it is not really a joke, merely a witty quote which may or may not have actually happened. As semi-silent monks in The Cistercian Order of the Strict Observance (which is understandably shortened to Trappist) there probably isn’t a lot of opportunity for verbal comedy and word play.

Beer Haiku Friday –

Today and tomorrow I am a judge at the Great New Zealand Sausage Competition so it seemed appropriate to post a 2005 Haiku from Captain Hops which combines my love of beer, sausages, bourbon and turkey with my contempt for Tofu. It is called “Getting the Menu Ready“:

Bourbon brined turkey
with beer broth sausage stuffing
No tofurkey here!

Glass Tip – Beer Haiku Daily Dot Com. Is there anything they can’t do?

Beer O’Clock – Lagunitas

It’s ten o’clock in the morning and I’m sitting on a horse saddle, and that is not even the most interesting part of this story. The saddle is actually the top of a bar stool and I’m contemplating a bristling 8.3% Double American Pale Ale which weighs in at a staggering 100 units of bitterness. To put that in perspective, most New Zealand mainstream beers would be in the teens or early twenties on that bitterness scale.

Full Story

(I think it was actually 9am we arrived at the brewery and started drinking – Luke)

Beer Blogs

My second Malthouse blog is now up and is titled “From the Ivory Tower to the Brew House.” It covers Croucher The Hef and Three Boys Wheat:

Brewers are, on the whole, remarkable creatures. From just toasted grain, the flower of a vine, ordinary water and a single-celled organism, they can produce delicious, sweet, life-giving beer. Given those same ingredients, most people would end up with soggy muesli which smelt of wet grass and tasted vaguely like bathroom mould. Or worse – Mash beer.

Also on his second post, Mr Colin Paige, former head brewer at Mac’s, is blogging about his mission to establish a brewery in Saigon. His blog is called Colin Paige in South East Asia:

Of course, getting into the Bia Hoi! (Bia Hoi is the cheap locally produced, unfiltered and unpasteurised beer – most of it is OK, not going to win any awards, and occasionally some diacetyl issues, However the dispense is usually an unpressurized keg with a hose and a womans hand over the end of it, holding beer in with her thumb until someone makes an order) Found a great place about 100m from Apocalypse Now (Saigon CBD) , night Club, that has a fixed rent and so can still offer 2 litres of beer for 16,000 VND, or about NZ$1.20.

Finally, one of my favourite beer writers, Pete Brown, has a blog with many more than two posts. His new book is called Hops and Glory and is due out next year:

This book has ruled my life for two years – I was heavily into it by the time I first started blogging. I can’t wait to get the bastard finished and unleashed on the world. I’ve finished the first draft and it’s now with my editor, but it’s far too long and we’re going to have to cut about a third of it out – expect lots of IPA-themed blog entries to appear on here as they’re slashed from the book (a process Steven King refers to as ‘killing your babies’).