Today’s beer haiku will outrage the purists but I like it. It is called “Because I Can“:
A bucket of wings
And some expensive cheap beer
Just because I can
Over at the Malthouse blog, my latest post discusses bar service, Evelyn Waugh’s seven requirements of a good inn-keeper, assesses Malthouse’s Colin Mallon against those seven criteria, looks at the Capital Awards and highlights three coming events. In a unsubtle dig at the Oscars, it is called “Awards That Actually Matter“:
Many would have expected Malthouse to also do well in the ‘best beer list’ category – except there wasn’t one. There was a ‘best wine list’ and ‘best drinks list’ but beer was a glaring omission. Fortunately, the flame-haired perpetrator has been quickly identified and given a stern talking to over a Tuatara Ardennes. Hopefully, it will be a proper category next year.
Glass Tips – Those determined tipplers at Beer Haiku Daily and the multi-award nomination folks at Malthouse
From Beer Haiku Daily, a wonderful poem about a wonderful beer. It is called “Duvel“:
Billowy white cloud
Looms over splendid sunshine
The Devil smiles
From the Malthouse Blog, this week’s post covers dictionaries, imps, hops, mayhem, more hops, brewing philosophies, an inability to do subtle, more hops again, Saint Andrews Day and… free whisky? It is all in “Mayhem Achieved, Boredom Relieved“:
In a revelation that ranks right up there with ‘sun rises in the morning’ and ‘Jacob Oram is injured’, Luke Nicholas confesses “I love flavours, especially hops. Subtlety isn’t something I am good at. I like to turn up the flavours.” Various entrepreneurs should consider manufacturing a range of “subtlety isn’t something I am good at” t-shirts. I would certainly buy one.
Glass Tips – Those excellent dudes at Beer Haiku Daily and the fine fellows at Malthouse dot com
Last week’s Malthouse blog covered burgers, brocolli, the Lucky brewery debacle, the three greatest Canadians of all time, “Spiderman” Emerson and Chimay White. It was called “A spirited defence of brand loyalty“:
We would tend to portray the person who eats only corporate burgers and fries as unsophisticated, a little odd and probably quite large. However, the person who drinks nothing but – say – Heineken is seen as a loyal and informed drinker. I simply cannot express the absurdity of this notion any better than noted beer writer and my third favourite Canadian Stephen Beaumont…
In “Rugby, racing and beer“, I take at looking at the baffling appeal of the Melbourne Cup, the cultural theft of Phar Lap, the attempted shooting of Phar Lap, the alledged similarities between American lager and horse by-products, West Coast humour at the expense of DB and Monteith’s Summer Ale:
At 5pm today, millions of otherwise normal and usually horse-racing agnostic Australians and New Zealanders will stop what they are doing, turn on the television, put a silly hat on their head, throw buckets of cash at the TAB and cheer wildly for a large four-legged animal who, yesterday, they had never heard of.
Glass Tip – Malthouse Blog
From the Malthouse blog, a post on “Beer in its proper context” which covers why Fiji Bitter tastes better in Fiji, (Sir) Jeremy Clarkson on Chinese beer and details of the new beers coming on tap in October (including the debut from Golden Ticket):
The thing is, it was exactly the same (awful) beer but they were also quite right that it tasted much better in Fiji. Why precisely that was the case quickly became clear when I enquired about how they drank the beer in Fiji. Essentially, they all drank ice-cold Fiji Bitter in the hot sun, by the pool, relaxing on holiday while being waited on by someone young, attractive and largely naked.
In contrast, the Fiji Bitter they had in Wellington was served cool-ish, the rain was lashing against the spartan meeting room’s windows, it had been a busy working week and the beer was being served by a husky chap in a Hawaiian shirt. It is all about context.
Last week I braved blizzards and public transport to run a beer tasting out at Wallaceville:
I ran my first beer tasting in Upper Hutt last week. It was for the Social Society out at the biosecurity complex in Wallaceville and it turned out to be a great night despite Wellington producing some of the worst weather of the year. What happened to spring and global warming Mr Gore? Anyway, the idea was to offer up an introductory selection of New Zealand craft beer to an audience which contained more than one person who initially thought they ‘didn’t like beer.’
In the 1,001th post on this fine blog, Beer Haiku Friday continues its ratings dominance with “big foamy head”
Just some good ole boys
Talking beer, blues, barbecue
And living the dream
The TAB is offering long odds on Neil “Haiku” Miller becoming a more popular nickname than Luke “The Imp” Nicholas.
Over at the Malthouse blog, the 30th post there looks at the West Coast Challenge, brewers talking like professional wrestlers and the Dux de Lux. It is titled “Whatcha gonna do, brother, when the hoppiest beers in the world run wild on you?”
Over a quiet pint of Epic one evening, the Handsome and Softly Spoken Scotsman had the crazy idea of recreating Pete Brown’s IPA voyage recreation right here in New Zealand. He asked the Impish brewer to procure some wooden barrels and fill them with Armageddon. The Impish brewer immediately agreed. He asked the Interislander ferry if the barrels could go on their ship for up to six weeks. The Interislander people immediately agreed.
Glass Tip – Beer Haiku Daily
This week’s Haiku is designed to encourage people to enter a Beer Haiku contest but it is actually a great little poem in its own right. It is called “Flying Dog Haiku Contest“:
Why do beer lovers
Gravitate to short poems?
There’s more time for beer.
Glass Tip – The always reliable chaps at Beer Haiku Daily
Blogging has resumed in earnest over at the Malthouse site with the latest offering called “On my command, unleash Mayhem“:
It is more balanced than last years’ offering when Luke declared that Mayhem would “wilfully maim and cripple the palates of the most extreme hop head” but, make no mistake, this is still a tremendously hoppy drop.
Glass Tip – Malthouse proprietor Colin the Handsome (self-proclaimed) and Softly-Spoken (media labelled) Scotsman
From the pages of The Wellingtonian newspaper, a column on beer at the Wellington food show:
Once through the gates, the first question facing every attendee at the Food Show is “left or right?” My decision to go left was immediately vindicated as virtually the first stall I saw was the Epic Brewing Company from Auckland. The impish brewer Luke Nicholas was handing out samples of his crisp Epic Lager and massively hopped Epic Pale Ale to big and appreciative crowds.
From The Salient, a short but intense look at stupid beers:
While many students live by the creed that the best beer in the world is the one right in front of them (preferably that someone else paid for), there are some beers which are simply stupider than Paul Holmes in a burka.
Finally for this update, The Salient column on dark beers:
A surprising number of people have absolutely no idea how beers get a dark colour. Depressingly, the majority seem to think that artificial colour is simply added at some specified point in the brewing process and – hey presto – instant dark beer. Tragically, that is precisely how a couple of breweries do it.
Beer and Food Match of the Month: Proper French Roquefort cheese and Invercargill Smokin Bishop – magic.