The Salient beer column takes a look at wheat beers and cricket:
Beer can have a wonderful effect on conversation. Once, it even made Graham Gooch funny. One of England’s best cricketers, Gooch was famous for his solid batting, droopy moustache and a face which resembled a forlorn Basset Hound receiving an unexpected cavity search.
Next was the 2008 version of the now classic university drinking game:
Recently, I invented a drinking game called “Eggplant.” The rules were ridiculously simple – people threw slices of barbequed eggplant up the neighboring hill. The winner of each round did not have to drink – everyone else did. People utilized a wide variety of throwing styles to try to gain an advantage. My personal trademark technique of hurling the vegetable directly into the wall of the house some two meters away was hilarious but ineffective. I consoled myself with the fact that my game, while it may have appeared silly to some, probably saved lives. A person might have eaten the eggplant if it had been left lying around.
Finally, some Saint Patrick’s Day reflections on stout, porter and pubs:
Skeptics argue that beer should not be so thick you have to eat it with a spoon nor so dark that it threatens to implode and pull your eyeballs out. These people always seem to sit next to me.
This column on budget beers prompted a letter to the editor suggesting I could not handle the strength of Flame beer:
Sometimes an exasperated student will lean back in their chair, close their state-of-the-art laptop, take out their iPod nano earplugs, put their designer sunglasses on top of their head, take a big swig of V, move their pack of cigarettes, adjust their label t-shirts, put their box-fresh trainers up on the table and say:
“Look Neil, I’m just a poor student. I really can’t afford all these hoity-toity beers you keep recommending. Those are for rich people who take showers and stuff…”
So, I decided to put Tui to the test against nine competing beers which all sell for under $15 a dozen.
Then, appropiately, Belgian Beers:
I suspect that no one in New Zealand celebrates July 21 quite as much as I do. By the time this column is published, I will have personally celebrated Nationale Feestdag 2007 four times. It is unlikely even the August Belgian Consuls have done as much commemorating as I have – which is probably just as well if they want to keep their diplomatic credentials.
Finally, I invented a drinking game:
One of the most popular genres is “drink when”. As the name suggests, when something particular happens, a person has to drink a designated amount. These games can involve very little drinking (“drink every time a politician answers the question directly”) or a lot of drinking (“drink every time a woman sighs when Dan Carter is on screen”).