Today’s Beer Haiku is for those who perhaps “over-drowned the shamrocks” on Saint Patrick’s Day. It is called “Ouch“:
Can someone please stop
All the frickin’ leprechauns
Dancing in my skull
Unsurprisingly, Paddy’s Day is also the theme over at the Malthouse blog where I examine invented Irish connections, why nobody pretends to be Australian, share Pete Brown’s take on our love affair with the Emerald Isle and finish with a quick look at Murphy’s Stout. The title “Diddly Dee (Potatoes)” is explained in the article:
It is perhaps ironic that the English celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day more than they do Saint George’s Day. Certainly, here in New Zealand, Paddy’s Day parties tend to be better attended and more fun than the corresponding Waitangi Day shindigs. People will happily invent a mythical great-aunt from County Cork for March 17 but no-one seem to make up a great-uncle from Wagga Wagga as an excuse to celebrate Australia Day.
Glass Tips – Those excellent imbibers at Beer Haiku Daily and the most excellent peeps at Malthouse
Today’s beer haiku will outrage the purists but I like it. It is called “Because I Can“:
A bucket of wings
And some expensive cheap beer
Just because I can
Over at the Malthouse blog, my latest post discusses bar service, Evelyn Waugh’s seven requirements of a good inn-keeper, assesses Malthouse’s Colin Mallon against those seven criteria, looks at the Capital Awards and highlights three coming events. In a unsubtle dig at the Oscars, it is called “Awards That Actually Matter“:
Many would have expected Malthouse to also do well in the ‘best beer list’ category – except there wasn’t one. There was a ‘best wine list’ and ‘best drinks list’ but beer was a glaring omission. Fortunately, the flame-haired perpetrator has been quickly identified and given a stern talking to over a Tuatara Ardennes. Hopefully, it will be a proper category next year.
Glass Tips – Those determined tipplers at Beer Haiku Daily and the multi-award nomination folks at Malthouse
It’s summer – which means rain in Wellington and lightning strikes in Northland, Auckland, Southland, Otago and Dunedin. Here is a beer haiku for all those who have lost power – or are about to – “Power Outage“:
With the power out
I grab a beer from the fridge
And light a candle
Blogging at the Malthouse site has well and truly resumed with two new posts up already. The first covers my top ten Kiwi beer of 2009 and makes three predictions about the future of beer. It is titled “To a Decade of Quality Beer“:
Having looked back longingly at 2009, it is time to look forward eagerly to 2010 and make some bold prediction for the rest of summer. Gazing into my crystal ball (well, actually it is a limited-edition Malthouse glass proposing ‘Cheers For 2010’ filled with Three Boys Golden Ale but the effect is quite similar), I foresee new levels of popularity for cider, wheat beers and pales ales (particularly those in the American style).
Next, a summary of the big debate in world beer, have extreme beers had their day, have Tactical Nuclear Penguins been spotted in New Zealand, Hallertau beers and Burns Nicht this Monday. With apologies to Bear Grylls, the post is titled “Mild vs Wild“:
Sometimes you really want a beer that makes you stop and simply go ‘wow’ – you want a real eye opener, a conversation piece, a beer that you will always remember even though you only ever had a single glass. Lagunitas’ marvellously bouncy Hop Stoopid had this effect on my friend Dean late last year. Other times, however, there is a need for a beer that has character and flavour but which accompanies rather than dominates the conversation – a beer which can facilitate a long chat solving the world’s problems or last through a big sporting event.
Glass Tips – Beer Haiku Daily and Malthouse blog
For many, it is the last day of work for the year. This Haiku – Stolen Happy Hour – may sum up how some of you are feeling:
The meeting drags on
The boss steals more and more time
I could be drinking
In the last Malthouse blog of the year, we meet Aussie musician Adam Page and learn of his love for craft beers and seamlessly mixing classic Christmas carols with Rage Against the Machine. It is called “Beer with Sax Appeal“:
Surrounded by a miasma of hop fumes and his trademark bushy beard (which he is going to grow out because “bigger beards are just cooler”), Adam lists his Kiwi beers of choice. He loves Tuatara, Three Boys IPA (“oh hello, it’s nice! Tuatara IPA sales go up when I’m in town”), Renaissance IIPA (“far out, it’s a classic”), Three Boys Oyster Stout (though he takes it personally that the seasons have changed which deprives him of this beer during his current visit) and Epic Armageddon (“unbelievable – like Luke backed up a cement truck full of hops and tipped them into my mouth”).
Glass Tips – Malthouse and Beer Haiku Daily
In honour of Veterans Day, Beer Haiku Daily posted “Gratitude“:
Many raised glasses
Greeted the young veterans
Entering the bar
There is something quite post-modern about blogging and tweeting about blogging and tweeting. This week’s Malthouse blog covers the beer industry using social media, how I personally determine when technology has gone mainstream, an exclusive guest commentary from British writer Melissa Cole, scientific proof most messages on Twitter are pointless, Ashton Kutcher (also on Twitter and pointless) and the debut of @malthousewizard and his free beer. It is all in “Blog, Tweet, Repeat“:
British beer writer Melissa Cole is the author of the popular and entertaining blog ‘Taking the beard out of beer’. She is a Member of the British Guild of Beer Writers and has been described as “the thinking man’s drinking crumpet”. *
* Well, she has now.
Glass Tips – Our patriotic chums at Beer Haiku Daily and that Handsome Scotsman at Malthouse
Last week’s Malthouse blog covered burgers, brocolli, the Lucky brewery debacle, the three greatest Canadians of all time, “Spiderman” Emerson and Chimay White. It was called “A spirited defence of brand loyalty“:
We would tend to portray the person who eats only corporate burgers and fries as unsophisticated, a little odd and probably quite large. However, the person who drinks nothing but – say – Heineken is seen as a loyal and informed drinker. I simply cannot express the absurdity of this notion any better than noted beer writer and my third favourite Canadian Stephen Beaumont…
In “Rugby, racing and beer“, I take at looking at the baffling appeal of the Melbourne Cup, the cultural theft of Phar Lap, the attempted shooting of Phar Lap, the alledged similarities between American lager and horse by-products, West Coast humour at the expense of DB and Monteith’s Summer Ale:
At 5pm today, millions of otherwise normal and usually horse-racing agnostic Australians and New Zealanders will stop what they are doing, turn on the television, put a silly hat on their head, throw buckets of cash at the TAB and cheer wildly for a large four-legged animal who, yesterday, they had never heard of.
Glass Tip – Malthouse Blog
While the seasons are wrong for this hemisphere, the poem still resonates. It is called “Winterizing“:
Taking the sails down
could go quicker without beer
but what fun is that
Over at Malthouse blog, the popular People’s blog returns with two more guest columnists and some considered reflections on bloggers and blogging. It is titled “The People’s Blog Part Deux“:
Ten years later, even hardened net geeks are giving up on trying to figure out how many blogs there really are. The answer is well over 100 million, almost certainly a lot, lot more. Blogging is not just for pyjama-clad Generation Xer’s who live in their parents basement anymore (though they are certainly still well represented on-line.) Now, rock stars blog. Beer writers blog. Businesses blog. Scientists blog. Even politicians blog.
Glass Tips – Beer Haiku Daily and Malthouse Blog
Today’s Beer Haiku is a salutory lesson for Friday nights. It is called “Tragic”:
Lures him from his faithful beer
A tragic mistake
The latest Malthouse blog takes a look at Geoffrey Palmer, Maurice Bennett, Brew Dog, an 18.2% beer, a 1.1% beer, alcohol prices and Townshend No.9. It is called “Who’s Your Nanny?”:
As New Zealand inches towards a hospitality environment regulated by the whim and fancy of Sir Geoffrey Palmer, it is worth considering the situation in the United Kingdom which, if anything, might be even worse.
Here, Maurice Bennett Esq, a noted man around town (unlike Sir Geoffrey), got in the most minor of trouble a few years back for his advert which dared to insinuate that a beer called “Bennett’s Strong” was, in fact, quite strong. The ‘offending’ ad was quietly pulled.
Glass Tip – Those excellent chaps at Beer Haiku Daily
Today’s Beer Haiku just appealed to my inner pop-culture geek. It is called “Believe it or Not“:
A six pack of beer
An obscure ’80s sit com
I’m walking on air
The latest Malthous blog covers political economies, Baltika beer and music worse than Crazy Frog. Read the full story at “From Russia with Beer“:
Rather than names, the Baltika beers have numbers. Ordering a Baltika 7 is probably easier for the average Kiwi than trying to use the beers’ original brand names of, and I’m not making these up, Zigulevskoye, Rizhkoye, Admiralteiskoye and Prazdnichnoye.
Glass Tips – Beer Haiku Daily and The Malthouse Blog
Today’s beer haiku seems particularly appropiate for a Friday. It is called “a frickin’ miracle“:
He left for the bar
At exactly 5 o’clock
Against all the odds
From the Malthouse blog, “who let the Brew Dogs out” takes a look at the latest shipment from Scotland’s cheekiest brewery, Brew Dog:
Personally, I’m looking forward to Hardcore. How can I possibly resist something which is described “an extreme beer rollercoaster for freaks, gypsies and international chess superstars?” I guess I had better brush up on my chess.
Glass Tip – Beer Haiku Daily and the Malthouse Blog